I’ve been thinking this week a lot about the radical call to follow Jesus. I can’t simply say “yes, I’m a Christian”. I can’t go to Bible college for 4 years, get my degree and take a position in a church. I can’t even be busy at my local church doing all kinds of “ministry” and be satisfied as a follower of Jesus. So what does it mean to be a follower of Jesus then? I was talking with a friend and we were talking about “love”. It is who God is, it is how He lived on earth and it is what He called us to do. So the ultimate definition of Love is selflessness. Jesus did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but He “emptied Himself” or became “nothing”. So I have been exploring the idea of becoming nothing for several years now and it is not of this world. If we desire to follow Jesus there is a dilemma. The dilemma is we either learn to become nothing the way Jesus taught or we remain ignorant to what Love really is.
I was just thinking after being at prayer last night with 6 others that prayer is doing something. Too many people think praying is being lazy, not being active for Jesus. Prayer is the unseen work, the difficult work that few want to take part in. You can get some to come to a church service because there is “live” worship, a message, something to capture their attention but few will come together and wait to let God capture our attention. Waiting is not an easy task, it calls for great trust and faith in the God who said wait on me and I will strengthen you. To settle in before God with a group of people, to begin crying out to what onlookers might say is “thin air”, to let our minds be carried away with who God is, to sense awe and gratitude, to simply ask and wait for God. No not ask for special interests but simply His filling, His wisdom and then wait. Well I’m waiting and I’m not sure I’m doing this 100% right but God is faithful. You know what I pray? I pray that more people would have a simple faith to join us and wait. They would be humble enough to say we are weak against this thing called life, we don’t know what to do but our eyes are on you O Lord. We must get past the physical realm, the 20 minute bedside prayers informing God of what’s going on and then explaining to Him how to fix it. We must “seek” His presence, We must “wait” on Him in holy anticipation, desiring simply to be in His presence, to know Him more. This is the unseen work that I know will one day soon cause many to see the glory of God.
You ever think that sometimes we are too grown up, have it together, and don’t need anyone’s help? Most grown ups don’t like getting wet. Why? Because it’s inconvenient, we have to change or we don’t like the cold sensation that makes us jump and scream. I guess most people must not like having God’s spirit poured out on them much either, if we did we would spend more time in His presence. I really need God in a major way and I always want Him to pour out His spirit. I want to be soaking wet in His presence because I can’t live this life on my own. I want to be a kid again, with a drive to always do what everyone else says you don’t have time to do.
I was praying yesterday when the words of Jesus entered my mind about loving others as ourself. I started thinking about how I love myself. When I have to use the restroom I wait until the last minute, I push the drive to an empty tank and my tank is totally full. My parents told me this wasn’t good for me but I do it anyway. I usually only go to the doctor when the pain is sever and or doesn’t go away after a month or six. I get splinters and cuts and unless they are deep, they don’t get washed out until shower time. However I do shower every day, sometimes twice a day. Cleanliness is next to godliness?? I condemn myself often and rarely show grace to myself. The more I thought about how I loved myself I thought; “I hope I don’t love others like that?” Do I only show them care when their lives are really messed up? Do I show them relief in their life only when I’m ready to stop my agenda and meet their needs. Do I spend time with people once a day or even 2 times a day. I don’t know, but I’m going to start monitoring how I love myself more cuz if that is how I’m loving people it’s no wonder I have no friends.
